Dear Journal: 04/13/2020

Today was the viewing for my grandmother. It was hard for me to go, but I figured her soul would be there waiting to see me. I went to wish her peace in the afterlife and show my happiness for her suffering being over. However, it was a bit too much to actually walk up to her casket; so I looked from afar and balled my eyes out. There were a slew of people in attendance, but I didn’t care to interact with anyone. It’s not like we could anyway. I mean, it was so surreal; everybody at the viewing had on latex gloves and a mask. The seats were all at least 6 feet apart and we couldn’t embrace one another with a hug. I left the viewing after less than 5 mins. It was just too much for me. However, my bestfriend stayed and promised to bring me an obituary, after. She stayed true to her promise and brought me an obituary about 45 minutes after I arrived home. I looked through the obituary and was shocked to find that I was not included at all. The woman who had raised me, travelled out of state with me several times since the age of 7 and who taught me most of what I know; the woman who I was sure to call and send a gift to every birthday and holiday, had no space for little ole me on her obituary. I mean, we were so close and everybody knew it. I know that she would not have been satified with this. I wrote a poem for my grandmother, as my family asked, and they still didn’t add it to the obituary. They added everyone else’s poem and pic….except mine. Honestly, I don’t know how to feel about it. I’m not upset that my picture wasn’t added, I mean, everyone know’s who I am; but I actually put thought and time into that poem, and it was totally disregarded. That hurts a bit. I feel that my family felt like I didn’t deserve to be remembered in my grandmother’s obituary. Which, Idk why, I never hurt or had an issue with anyone, so I’m so confused and a little heartbroken by that. Anywho, I’m going to carry on with my life because my grandmother knows my heart, and she knows that I loved and appreciated her so much. I’m working from home tonight and didn’t have much time to write this, but today was a bittersweet day and it’s so hard to hold back the tears; but anywho, I hope all is well for all of you. Many blessings and peace to you all. Stay strong and keep pushing, Epic Empire!!!

3 comments

  1. Judy Kim · April 13

    I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother’s passing. I could relate to what you experienced. My mom passed away 3 weeks ago and I wasn’t asked to participate in the eulogies at her funeral, my name was listed incorrectly and I wrote a poem too that I couldn’t read during her wake. All the funeral arrangements were done by my brother who blamed me for her passing, but she died of cancer. People can be selfish during funerals, don’t take it personally, it’s their issue not yours. Your grandmother knew your heart and memories of her will always be within you. 💖

    Liked by 1 person

    • Epic Empire · April 14

      Thank you so much. My condolences for your lost. Stay strong.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Judy Kim · April 15

        You’re welcome, my condolences for your loss too💖🕊

        Like

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